Sexist & risque, but too funny not to post

[Mr. Bill]

Why women don't work on cars:
http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1168889&a=11794707&p=42054085&Sequence=0&re s=high

[Etnomaiab]

lol

[Cooch]

Uh Oh you better duck after posting that one :)

[DanB98TJ]

Wow...I bet there's enough silicone there to seal up a dozen CJs!:D

You know what they say:

In France, the perfect size breast fits in a champagne glass. In New Jersey, it'll clog a toilet.:eek:

[mudrat90]

Hey wered you get that picture of my wife. I'm telling. (j/k)

[Mr. Bill]

Wow...I bet there's enough silicone there to seal up a dozen CJs!:D

You know what they say:

In France, the perfect size breast fits in a champagne glass. In New Jersey, it'll clog a toilet.:eek:

LOL. My JC liked that quote.

It reminded me of this:

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 NEW JERSEY
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside New Jersey. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
How to identify if you have WIN98 NJ:
The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," with a background picture of a Turnpike toll plaza.
When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a Sopranos screen saver.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bayonne".
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer".
The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk".
Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked Out" or "Rubbed Out".
Dial up Networking is called "The Bar".
Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses".
Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shutting it down. Hard Drive is referred to as "Rt287 Rush Hour". Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!" pops up.


CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN NEW JERSEY EDITION:
OK.......................... Sure ting
Cancel.................... Fugetaboutit
Reset...................... Start Ova
Yes.......................... Yeah
No........................... Nah
Find........................ Put a contract out on
Browse................... Get a looksee
Back....................... U turn
Help....................... (Help is not available - yous don't need no stinking help)
Stop...................... Knock it off
Start...................... Move it!
Settings................. Here's the Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r." Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa........................ A word processing program
Printa...................... Printer
Calculata................ Calculator
Seven Card Stud.... Solitaire

We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.
If you received a copy of the NEW JERSEY EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Hey, youse got a problem wit dat?????

[JeepnPit]

Now.....the question is. Is she supporting that BMW already with her rack or are the tireshttp://cwmonkey.virtualave.net/s/big/biggrin.gif still on the ground?

[Etnomaiab]

LOL. My JC liked that quote.

It reminded me of this:

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 NEW JERSEY
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside New Jersey. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
How to identify if you have WIN98 NJ:
The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," with a background picture of a Turnpike toll plaza.
When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a Sopranos screen saver.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bayonne".
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer".
The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk".
Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked Out" or "Rubbed Out".
Dial up Networking is called "The Bar".
Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses".
Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shutting it down. Hard Drive is referred to as "Rt287 Rush Hour". Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!" pops up.


CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN NEW JERSEY EDITION:
OK.......................... Sure ting
Cancel.................... Fugetaboutit
Reset...................... Start Ova
Yes.......................... Yeah
No........................... Nah
Find........................ Put a contract out on
Browse................... Get a looksee
Back....................... U turn
Help....................... (Help is not available - yous don't need no stinking help)
Stop...................... Knock it off
Start...................... Move it!
Settings................. Here's the Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r." Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa........................ A word processing program
Printa...................... Printer
Calculata................ Calculator
Seven Card Stud.... Solitaire

We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.
If you received a copy of the NEW JERSEY EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Hey, youse got a problem wit dat?????



lol :D

[jeeperchik]

Hey! I don't remember working on any Beamers! :D j/k!