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View Full Version : What NOT to say to the police....


DanB98TJ
03-25-2001, 09:16 PM
The Absolute WORST Things to Say to the Police:

*I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

*Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

*Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

*Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 MPH to keep up with me. Good job!

*Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

*I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

*I was going to be a cop, but decided to finish high school instead.

*You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

*Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

*Wow. You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

*So, uh, you on the take or what?

*Gee, officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

*I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around - that's how far they are ahead of me!

*What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist!

*Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

*Hey, is that a 9mm? How does that compare to this one here?

TOOLman
03-25-2001, 10:12 PM
LMAO :D

Now, honestly Dan, how many of those have you heard in real life? :)

JPNPrincess
03-25-2001, 10:15 PM
Why no ossifer, I draven't been hinking.

http://cwmonkey.virtualave.net/s/drowned/iroc-cop.gif

mudrat90
03-26-2001, 04:36 AM
as the police officer says"NO sir I dont need a beer, I dont think you need one either" :)

Cooch
03-26-2001, 07:28 AM
My Favorite:

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist!

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"

1986cj7
03-26-2001, 08:54 AM
too funny

Etnomaiab
03-26-2001, 01:17 PM
LOL :D

DanB98TJ
03-26-2001, 01:20 PM
Haven't personally heard any of them, but I hear the "I only had two beers" thing quite frequenty...even if the BAC is over .10.:rolleyes: My response? Just how big were those two beers????:p

Boogeyman
03-26-2001, 09:00 PM
No ofther I haven't been stinking you drunk i am.

I'm not a thoned as you stink i am.

etc
etc
etc

mudrat90
03-27-2001, 02:10 AM
Take me drunk, I'm home.

I think I got dain brammage.


Those are my favorites.

mudrat90
03-27-2001, 02:13 AM
hey DanB98TJ, you know WHY they say theve had only 2 beers. The male brain looses all ability to caount past 2 with the introduction of alcohol. My dad used to drink 12-16 (at home of course) and want to got out driving. I would take the keys and he would protest "Well, I've only had 2 beers, Why not?". It is a proven scientific fact.(not really)

TOOLman
03-27-2001, 04:17 AM
Of course it's two - the First and the Last. Those in between don't count, do they?

jeeperchik
03-28-2001, 08:33 AM
Of course it's two - the First and the Last. Those in between don't count, do they?

How many things does this counting method apply to? :D

Gettin-Higher
03-28-2001, 07:13 PM
here we go with the fuzzy math again....