Hickbonics

[DanB98TJ]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollars pipelined through Washington by designating Southern Slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this would be a Hickophone.

The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Pat tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Florida. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calender division. Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barely, hops, and yeast.:beer: Usage: "I thank I'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas Native." Usage: Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petrolium-based lubricant. Usage: I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagratoin. Usage: If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "I got a flat tar on my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in a battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im som ear!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun), (verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba Smart?" "Nah, haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n his laf."

SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "too see." VIEW - contraction (verb), (pronoun) - Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Dem gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[mudrat90]

hey now us bammer boys ain't not ignert. I thank ill go use my ranch to change the all in my pick-em-up-truck. Oh and I work for them thar gubmint boys and we aint not all ignert too. :)

[mudrat90]

On a side not that post took me 12 min to actually type out. That stuff is way harder to type than it is too say, ask my wife. She has to get me to translate when I talk to my mama back home. Good stuff. hehe :)

[Etnomaiab]

LOL :D

[JPNPrincess]

http://cwmonkey.virtualave.net/s/fk/princess.gif

LOL

[Gettin-Higher]

hey now us bamma boys aint all that dumb.... some of us got out....