Its Friday and I need a good laugh

[emills]

I'm always a fan of some good humor (and bad humor too)
Everyone post some good jokes, and lets get this weekend started out with a good laugh.
Here is my attempt:

Up To His Shoes

A man and a woman were deeply in love. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.

He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60, off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now, seeing her naked for the first time, and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car.

He veered off the road, over an embankment and wrapped the car around a tree. His girlfriend was thrown clear, but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas, he was stuck.

"Go up to the road and get help," he said.

"But i haven't anything to cover myself with!" she replied.

The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.

Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend, my boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and i can't pull him out!"

The truck driver, looking down at the shoe between her legs, replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, i'm afraid there's no hope for him."

[lonegpr]

:)

[BillR]

lol

[Bob 94 XJ]

A oldie but a goodie!!! LOL

[TOOLman]

LOL :)

OK, here's a shot at approximately the same level (i.e. just below the waist):

A young French priest had just gotten married. Pre-marital sex was of course out of the question, so he was very inexperienced on the wedding night. His lovely wife was quite wild and he had to work hard through most of the night. The next morning he woke up feeling exhausted. His private parts were sore and tender and he wondered whether it was going to be like this every night.

Then his wife woke up. Sleepily she sat up in bed and streched her arms up and yawned. When the priest saw the hair in her unshaven armpits he became pale and exclaimed: "oh dear Lord, please, not two more of those!"

[Bob 94 XJ]

Good one!! I haven't heard that one before.. I am sending it to everyone in my address book.

[TOOLman]

OK, one more (must be the wine I'm gulping down :))

A young man had a most unusual explanation when he was subpoenaed into court for a paternity case. The opposing party's lawyer claimed that the man was the father of his client's unplanned child.

The man admitted to having had intercourse with the woman, but, as he explained:

"I was not using any protection, and I knew that she didn't either. So when I was approaching the critical moment, I prepared to...pull out, as it were. In that very instant her mother walked in on us. She was very upset when she realized what we were doing. She rushed forward and kicked my backside, causing my organ to once again be inserted, just as I reached climax. So, you honor, I therefore state that the plaintiff's mother is the real father of the child."

[EP]

Yup, oldie but goodie!