whatever
03-23-2001, 07:48 AM
"The stupidity of the human race never fails to surprise
me." --Charles Darwin
Darwin Awards are (by definition) granted posthumously.
This citation is bestowed upon (the remains of) that
individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice,
has done the most to remove undesirable elements from
the human gene pool.
[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA] A San Anselmo man died yesterday
when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski
area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities
said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead
at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred
about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski
run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors
from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly
of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are
used to protect skiers who might hit the towers. The
group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski
slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
been determined that the tower he hit was the one with
its pad removed.
------------------------------------
[AP, St. Louis, MO] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently
being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk
threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog,
shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying
for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the
store: paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his
throat, where it had choked him to death.
------------------------------------
[UPI, Spain] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed
instantly when it fell on him.
------------------------------------
Man's Loses Face at Party [Associated Press, Kincaid,
W. VA]
A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth
and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off
his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap
as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.
M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked
to a battery, and was trying to explode it", Payne said.
"It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you
how to set it off.' He put it in his mouth and bit down.
It blew all his teeth off, his tongue and his lips",
Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according
to a spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division.
"I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that,"
Payne said.
------------------------------------
[UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University
Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will
be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25,
lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation
into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in
Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye.
Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the
left, a major blood vessel would have cut and Roberts
would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny
Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said
the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with
the tip protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow
managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also
said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own
he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
No charges have been filed but the Josephine County
district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
is under investigation.
------------------------------------
Pillsbury Dough Boy Wanted for Attempted Murder. [AP,
Arkansas]
A woman named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit
her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked
next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed
and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When
Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman,
her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.
The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the
window and said "Are you okay?" The woman answered
"I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains
in." Linda didn't know what to do; so she ran into the
store where store officials called the paramedics. They
had to break into the car because the door was locked.
When they got in, they found that the woman had bread
dough on the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury
biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat
in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot,
and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her
brains. She passed out from fright at first, then attempted
to hold her "brains" in!
me." --Charles Darwin
Darwin Awards are (by definition) granted posthumously.
This citation is bestowed upon (the remains of) that
individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice,
has done the most to remove undesirable elements from
the human gene pool.
[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA] A San Anselmo man died yesterday
when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski
area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities
said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead
at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred
about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski
run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors
from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly
of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are
used to protect skiers who might hit the towers. The
group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski
slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
been determined that the tower he hit was the one with
its pad removed.
------------------------------------
[AP, St. Louis, MO] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently
being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk
threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog,
shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying
for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the
store: paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his
throat, where it had choked him to death.
------------------------------------
[UPI, Spain] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed
instantly when it fell on him.
------------------------------------
Man's Loses Face at Party [Associated Press, Kincaid,
W. VA]
A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth
and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off
his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap
as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.
M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked
to a battery, and was trying to explode it", Payne said.
"It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you
how to set it off.' He put it in his mouth and bit down.
It blew all his teeth off, his tongue and his lips",
Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according
to a spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division.
"I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that,"
Payne said.
------------------------------------
[UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University
Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will
be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25,
lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation
into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in
Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye.
Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the
left, a major blood vessel would have cut and Roberts
would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny
Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said
the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with
the tip protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow
managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also
said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own
he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
No charges have been filed but the Josephine County
district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
is under investigation.
------------------------------------
Pillsbury Dough Boy Wanted for Attempted Murder. [AP,
Arkansas]
A woman named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit
her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked
next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed
and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When
Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman,
her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.
The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the
window and said "Are you okay?" The woman answered
"I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains
in." Linda didn't know what to do; so she ran into the
store where store officials called the paramedics. They
had to break into the car because the door was locked.
When they got in, they found that the woman had bread
dough on the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury
biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat
in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot,
and hit her in the head. When she reached back to find
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her
brains. She passed out from fright at first, then attempted
to hold her "brains" in!