Mr. Bill
04-03-2001, 10:13 PM
-If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
-If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
-Why do we say something 'is out of whack'? What's a whack?
-Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
-If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
-Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
-Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
-If cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
-Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car isn't called a racist?
-Why are a wise man and a wise guy considered opposites?
-Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
-If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
-Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
-"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
-If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
-Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
-Why is it that if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them? But if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it to be sure?
-Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
-What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
-I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
-I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
-How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
-If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
-You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
-No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
-Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
-Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
-If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
-If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
-Why do we say something 'is out of whack'? What's a whack?
-Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
-If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
-Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
-Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
-If cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
-Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car isn't called a racist?
-Why are a wise man and a wise guy considered opposites?
-Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
-If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
-Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
-"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
-If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
-Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
-Why is it that if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them? But if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it to be sure?
-Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
-What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
-I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
-I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
-How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
-If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
-You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
-No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
-Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
-Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
-If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?