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View Full Version : Confucius on men (may be offensive)


JPNPrincess
04-05-2001, 04:40 PM
Man who argues with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have ****ty time.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet, many moons!
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Man who fights with wife in morning, get no piece at night.
Man who finger woman during her period, gets caught red handed
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
Man who gets hit by car, gets that run down feeling
Man who gets kicked in testicles is left holding bag.
Man who goes out with flat chested woman have right to feel low.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.
Man who goes to bed with sex problem, wakes up with solution in hand.
Man who has hand down mans pants, not feeling himself today.
Man who invented the eraser had human race pretty well sized up.
Man who kisses girl's behind gets crack in face.
Man who lays girl on hill not on level.
Man who lays woman on ground, get piece on earth.
Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Man who lose key to apartment get new key.
Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key.
Man who masturbates into cash register, soon comes into money.
Man who neglects his duty as a citizen not entitled to his rights.
Man who puts cream in tart not always baker.
Man who puts face in punchbowl gets punch in nose.
Man who puts foot in mouth gets athlete's tongue.
Man who puts head on railroad track gets splitting headache
Man who puts woman on ground has peace on earth.
Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt woman doing it.
Man who screws woman on hill not on level.
Man who sinks into woman's arms soon has arms in woman's sink.
Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon.
Man who stands on toilet seat is high on pot.
Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
Man who takes lady on camping trip has one intent.
Man who walks through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who walks thru closing airport gates is going to Bangkok
Man with athletic fingers makes broad jump.
Man with closed mouth gathers no foot!
Man with erection who walks into a wall, breaks his nose.
Man with hand in pocket is always on the ball.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man with steel balls not play with magnets.
Man who lives in glass house no throw stones.
Man with forked tongued no kiss balloon.
Confucius say baseball wrong, man with 4 balls cannot walk

http://www.mentaljokes.com/hapnet.gif

whatever
04-05-2001, 04:45 PM
It's funny stuff you have there!!!!!

Warlock
04-05-2001, 06:50 PM
:D LOL :D

seRob
04-05-2001, 09:44 PM
LOL :)

Stroked
04-05-2001, 09:53 PM
here's one:

Man thats a lot of writing, you expect me to read all of that?

TOOLman
04-05-2001, 10:36 PM
ROTF :D
I was trying to pick a favorite, but they are all good!

Colo.TJ
04-06-2001, 10:41 AM
That was hilarious.