Thanks, Mom.....

[DanB98TJ]

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that it will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

THANKS, MOM!

[Crazie Cooter]

LOL
I cant tell you how many times I hear some of these every day.

[Warlock]

I sent that to my mother.

:D

[whatever]

Those should be used by the card companies to remind us to send a mothers day card, I know a lot of those hit home with me.

[brewmenn]

These are great




My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."



This was my moms favorite.
And know that I live by myself in my own house the whole house looks this way most of the time!