Warlock
04-14-2001, 07:39 PM
Seems God was just about done creating the universe,
>>> > > > > >but he had two extra things left in his bag of
>>> > > > > >creations, so he decided to split them between Adam
>>> > > > > >and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things
>>> > > > > >he had to give away was the ability to stand up while
>>> > > > > >urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the
>>>couple.
>>> > > > > >"I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very
>>>ability."
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me!
>>> > > > > >I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of
>>> > > > > >thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please,
>>> > > > > >let me have that ability. It'd be so great!
>>> > > > > >When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals,
>>> > > > > >I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so
>>> > > > > >cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God,
>>> > > > > >let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and
>>> > > > > >pee, oh please..."
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >On and on he went like an excited little boy who had
>>> > > > > >to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam
>>> > > > > >really wanted that so badly, that he should have it.
>>> > > > > >It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make
>>> > > > > >him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the
>>> > > > > >one given this ability. And so Adam was given the
>>> > > > > >ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He
>>> > > > > >was happy, and did celebrate by wetting down the
>>> > > > > >bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight
>>> > > > > >all the while.
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >"Fine,"God said looking back into his bag of leftovers.
>>> > > > > >"What's left here? Oh yes, brains...."
>>> > > > > >but he had two extra things left in his bag of
>>> > > > > >creations, so he decided to split them between Adam
>>> > > > > >and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things
>>> > > > > >he had to give away was the ability to stand up while
>>> > > > > >urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the
>>>couple.
>>> > > > > >"I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very
>>>ability."
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me!
>>> > > > > >I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of
>>> > > > > >thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please,
>>> > > > > >let me have that ability. It'd be so great!
>>> > > > > >When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals,
>>> > > > > >I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so
>>> > > > > >cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God,
>>> > > > > >let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and
>>> > > > > >pee, oh please..."
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >On and on he went like an excited little boy who had
>>> > > > > >to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam
>>> > > > > >really wanted that so badly, that he should have it.
>>> > > > > >It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make
>>> > > > > >him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the
>>> > > > > >one given this ability. And so Adam was given the
>>> > > > > >ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He
>>> > > > > >was happy, and did celebrate by wetting down the
>>> > > > > >bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight
>>> > > > > >all the while.
>>> > > > > >
>>> > > > > >"Fine,"God said looking back into his bag of leftovers.
>>> > > > > >"What's left here? Oh yes, brains...."